Forks in the Road

I believe we “map” out our lives before we are born into existence here on earth. Everything that happens is meant to happen, whether it is good or bad. I also believe in free-will. To perpetuate free will, we have placed forks in the road map of our lives to offer us opportunities for something new, even if the ultimate destination will always remain the same.

What was I thinking when I mapped out my life? So far in my short existence on Earth, I have lived in 13 cities between five states. Three of those states and seven of those cities were as an adult. I have had the joys and pains of having owned four different homes already. The majority of these moves were not purposely chosen by me (not counting the aforementioned planning stated above). Obviously as a child, they were not my choice at all. As an adult, well, I guess you could say they were a choice, because I chose them to be with the person I love (my husband of course) as he has had to make several moves for his career. Finally, after 18 years of marriage, we have found a place to call home that we absolutely love. So of course, it’s time to throw a fork in the road!

To give you a little background on the situation, my husband is a chef. A darn good one, I might add. The culinary world is not a walk in the park. The hours are long and atypical. My girls and I can go for days without seeing him unless it is while he is sleeping. It’s not the ideal life for a family man. But like I said, he is a very good Chef, and he loves what he does. I am so very proud of him, and I support him in every way I can. There is another major flaw in the culinary world. Unless you live in a very large metropolis, good jobs are few and far between. Especially the higher on the career ladder you sit. One would say that he has a very good job right now. I beg to differ. His current company, while stable as a company, is unpredictable as an employer. You may never really know where you stand or if you are safe where you are standing. So the career search is always on for a secure position where my husband’s talents can thrive.

Job interviews have come and gone, while we have become more established in our community. My daughter Virginia was accepted into a first-rate middle school this year that will place her into a high school that ranks in the top 30 of the United States– a mother’s dream. We couldn’t be in a better place if you ask me. Then a good job opportunity presents itself to my husband. If he is to keep his career from falling backward he has to take it. I know he has to take it. It’s in another state. Twelve hours away. I would not be able go. I love him with all my heart and could not deny him this opportunity. I love my daughter with all my heart and cannot deny her the opportunity before her. Sure there may be great schools where he is going. Are they as good? I have no idea. Unless I am 100% sure, I cannot take that gamble. So now what? Do we live apart? I am sure you think I am crazy, but during the course of our marriage, my husband and I have lived apart seven times. Yes, seven times. Four of those were prior to having children: First right after our wedding as the Army transferred him — I joined him a little over a month later; twice in the Army on deployments to Somalia and Haiti; once as we relocated closer to family and he moved to the area a few months before me. We lived apart three times after having our children, which proved to be a little harder. Once was right after our youngest was born. He moved to another state for a job, while I stayed back to sell the house with a newborn and a two year old. A few years later, he moved to another state for a job that didn’t pan out. After he came back home, he was offered his current position. Once again, he moved a few months before me and the children, ages 3 and 5 at the time. Being apart was becoming a little more difficult. While we may have lived apart with children; I did not work full-time during those times. Now I work full-time.

So now we have this huge fork in the road. We are strong enough to live apart. But are our children? Who knows, maybe the schools there are excellent, and our separation will be short. Or perhaps this position will be what my husband’s career needs to give him a jump into another wonderful position right back here in a year or two. As luck would have it, yet another fork in the road presented itself. An awesome, LOCAL opportunity. Could it really be true? A new job that doesn’t require a move? This hasn’t taken place since my children were born. You bet it is true. He will get to move on to better his career, without uprooting our family or leaving us behind. He starts Monday.

God does answer prayers.

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