I have a friend that loves to follow my blog and is not very happy with me, because I haven’t been blogging regularly these days. I apologize for being a slacker. It’s not that I don’t have anything to write about. The truth is so much has happened to me in the past couple weeks, I just am not sure they are the type of things I may want people to read about me or my family. There have been some good moments, some bad moments, some sad moments, some crazy moments and some happy moments. Such are “the days of our lives”.
At this moment I am happily waiting for Christmas, which you know is only 3 days away. I have been finished with my holiday shopping for a few weeks. I completed the majority of it at 4 am on Black Friday…that stupid, crazy, what-am-I-doing-up-at-this-hour day that takes place the day after Thanksgiving. I am not stressed about the holidays at all this year. Not any more. Mostly because I have a little “mother’s little helper” that the doctor prescribed. That was one of my low points this month. But as it turns out, I am not necessarily alone in my all-consuming stress. Yes, that very stress that created so much anxiety for me these past few months and resulted in my heart monitor a few months ago has continued to build. After a way overdue meltdown and another trip to the doctor, I received my “mother’s little helper” and some very much needed perspective. So now my family has been enlightened in their participation of these events (or lack there of), and as I have been confiding in my friends after the fact, I have learned that while they saw only the happy front I put out there for the world, I have been seeing their happy front as well. I have been amazed at the amount of stress everyone seems to be experiencing these days – especially other mothers I know. Why are we all so afraid to share our feelings with others? There is the fear of judgment and what others will think of us. There is the fear of failure…as in all mom’s do such and such, so why can’t I? But as it was pointed out to me….what are they taking to get through it? What is their support system? Do they have family close by, baby sitters, or nannies? I shouldn’t feel the need to judge my successes or failures as a mother based on other mothers. My situation is not the same as anyone’s situation. No one’s is. How far away is their family? How is their professional life? How are their finances? The questions can go on and on. There should be no comparison. You can’t judge a book by the cover.
So like I said, I have been enlightened (or reminded of what I’ve always known deep down) and I have learned that is OK that I am not Super Mom. It is OK for me to take a step back and tell someone no. No I don’t need the extra responsibility of the PTO, of Girl Scouts, etc. on top of working 8-5 and then working all evening/weekend at home caring for my family and household. It’s really is ok that even though so-and-so can do it, I don’t have to, and so I took a step back.
After my last blog on Christmas cards, I did decide to order cards that I had made from my daughter Virginia’s art work. Unfortunately I didn’t know they would take so long to come in, so here it is three days before Christmas and I haven’t even received them. Oh well, I guess they will be New Year’s cards. I don’t care any longer. It’s a useless stress that I don’t need in my life. I’ve only received three from other people, so apparently they don’t care to send them either and may have been sending them out of feeling obligated from receiving mine. Once again, it’s ok.
So now I am having an enjoyable week. I took some time to spend an enjoyable evening celebrating the holiday with friends. I went to my daughter Klara’s singing performance and listened to some awesome young singers that almost brought me to tears…happy tears. I went to lunch yesterday and had a wonderful surprise when after I ordered I was told someone before me had paid for my meal. A generous act from a stranger, but it felt like a gift from God.
The best part of this week? My happiness is rubbing off on my family. The girls aren’t fighting and they are being more respectful. Everyone seems more content. A friend of mine said it best, “less stress for my wife is less stress for me.” That rings true for the entire family.
I know it seems like I’ve gone way off of the topic here, but my point is we are all trying so hard to be perfect that we are killing ourselves. No one is perfect. The perfect person we are trying to be like may very well be trying to be like you. Ironic isn’t it? So instead of trying to be perfect this Christmas, just relax and be yourself. Try not to expect so much of others so that they may let down their front as well. The time you have with others without trying to impress each other may be more enjoyable and relaxing than you could have imagined. And if you feel you just can’t relax…then it’s ok to ask for help. I feel like I could go on and on, but I think I have made my point.
I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and that your holidays are stress free.