Have I mentioned I love therapy in my blogs yet? I am sure I must have. But either way I really do. I think everyone should go to therapy, whether they think they need it or not. Therapy has a way of “bringing it all together”: the turmoil, the emotions, the resolution, and even the happiness.
I went to my therapy appointment today in a very happy state of mind, for I have made so many positive changes in my life recently, that I can’t help but have a renewed sense of confidence and outlook on life. I figured surely my therapist will listen to me as I describe my emotional state of mind, and since I am down to only visiting once a month, she will determine that I am doing well enough to discontinue therapy. I don’t want that, so I tell myself that I need to make sure I address the recent negative moments in my life as well. So I went in and described my recent transformations and achievements since my last visit and couldn’t help but smile as I described how happy I currently am. As she told me that she was proud of how I’ve embraced the changes in my life, I was sure she was going to then say that there wasn’t a need for me to visit any more. She didn’t. But still, I figured I should now address some of the sad moments I have faced recently just to show that everything isn’t perfect. It turns out that there is more validity to me addressing these issues than I thought.
This month alone I have watched in grief as Japan has faced devastating loss and destruction. I have feared for other countries as earthquakes and tsunamis seem to occur at escalating rates. Closer to home severe weather has brought on destruction in varying degrees. Then on a personal level, I have seen numerous people around me prematurely lose loved ones, just as I too have lost a dear friend. It makes me stop and ask, what is going on with the universe? As I started to address these topics, I noticed that I still have mixed feelings about being happy amongst so much sadness. It seems that as enlightened as I have become, there is still so much more to understand that a person may not necessarily see the connections until they are shown to them, revealing that “aha!” moment. That is where therapy has brought it all together for me.
I described to my therapist the changes I have purposely brought into my life; how I am emotionally handling things now; how I perceive the world around me now; and how all of these factors are giving me a better focus on what is really important in life. Sure, you may say that what’s important is obvious. Of course it is….when your mind is clear enough to see it. Unfortunately with all the noise and (let’s face it) crap that comes with life, one’s mind often isn’t clear. How can it be? We constantly have to focus on families, jobs, school, the health of ourselves or our loved ones, paying the bills, the state of our economy, and just plain surviving. Clutter. So as my thoughts and feelings are transforming, I have been taking moments to sit in silence, to listen to my feelings, to address and challenge my fears, to focus on exactly what it is that is most important for me at this moment in time. And what emerges from the silence is a happier, calmer me. Still, my newfound happiness hasn’t necessarily been easy to understand. Sometimes I start to question the direction I am moving towards (or away from) and my motives. Will I regret some of my decisions down the road? My therapist has helped me to understand the thoughts that connect my feelings and my actions. Again…something so obvious, but lost in the clutter of the world around me. She has helped me realize that which I already knew; the necessity of my actions to facilitiate the positive changes I need for my physical and mental well being.
Sometimes I also start to wonder…will I remember this place I am in a year from now, or will all of my current inner reflections blow away like the wind over the course of time? I guess only time will tell, but I will take a suggestion from my therapist…to find a reminder, a momento or a picture of something to remind of just where I am spiritually right now. Something I can hang on the wall to serve as a reminder of what is truly important amongst all the clutter and noise of this world.
I love understanding. I love therapy.