A Watermelon Murder

Today was a day like any other.  This morning I got ready for work as usual and went into the kitchen to have breakfast. While standing at the refrigerator, I could smell the watermelon that we had sitting on the counter.  I glanced over at it, because I could smell it, and thought to myself, “No, I just bought it….it’s fine.”  The day progressed as normal.

When I got home I walked into the kitchen and noticed something all over the counter.  My initial instinct was to yell at the kids for not cleaning up their mess, but before I could open my mouth, my brain began to register what I was looking at.  The very same watermelon I contemplated taking a look at this morning had exploded all over the place.  I did not know that was possible.  There were watermelon guts and juice (or blood if you will) all over the counter.  It was disgusting.  The watermelon itself had a large tear in it and was caved in.  I couldn’t decide if it exploded or threw up all over the counter.  As I cleaned it up, I quickly discovered that watermelon vomit was no different than people vomit…I wanted to throw up myself.  I quickly cleaned off the counter, threw the mushy mess into a trash bag and ran out the door to take my girls to gymnastics.  I called my husband and informed him of the incident, because we were going to have to pull the stove away from the wall when he got home to clean the side of the cabinet.  Then I forgot all about it while the girls and I were out.

An hour and a half later, I walked in the front door to my husband standing in the kitchen.  All the contents of the bottom cabinet and drawer were strewn about the kitchen.  I asked him why he took everything out of the cabinet.  Much to my dismay, he informed me that the watermelon’s “blood” had managed to seepe into the  cabinet below.  EVERYTHING had the disgusting, rancid watermelon blood on it.  And so the washing began.  The dishwasher was stuffed as tight as it could be.  What was left had to be hand washed.  The toaster had watermelon goo inside it and had to be thrown out.  My youngest daughter wanted to help and sat on the floor cleaning the containers of household cleaners that were under the sink.  When all the dishes seemed to be done, I glanced under the cabinet to see if it had been wiped out yet.  There was a nice layer of what I thought was cleaner inside the cabinet.  I told my husband he didn’t have to soak it so much…it only had to be wiped out, and he informed me that he didn’t.  Apparently, when everything was taken out of the cabinet, he bumped the pipe connector under the sink and it came undone.  I did not know that while I was washing all the dishes, the water was leaking out of the pipe and into the bottom of the cabinet.  Fabulous.

During our cleanup, my daughter Klara decided to speak up and inform us that she had touched the watermelon today and “it felt squishy”.  Seriously?  Next time speak up child!  During the course of joking about the situation, it was determined that Klara’s poke may have been the murder weapon that forced the watermelon to it’s final demise.  Oh, if I had only followed my intuition this morning and looked a little closer at the darn thing when I smelled it.  Like they say, hind sight is 20/20.

My wonderful, easy going, awesome husband cleaned out the cabinet and then pulled the stove out away from the wall to clean around it, while I got to run off and make jokes about the whole watermelon murder on Facebook.  What would I do without him?  Oh I know what I would do…there was that time I had to clean up dog diarrhea all over the kitchen floor while he was at work….that was a fun blog (see My Obi).  Thank God this wasn’t that bad, but I don’t know how long it will be before I eat watermelon again without wanting to vomit.


4 comments on “A Watermelon Murder

  1. OMG this just happened to me on friday!!!! ANd of course we always buy the hugest watermelon we can find!!! It took me five hours to clean and it sounds exactly as you are describing it!!! I feel like if someone was actually murdered in my kitchen it would have been easier to clean!!! In the cabinets on the floor down the walls. I had to throw away 4 rugs that were dripping with watermelon goo. I almost want to dig this smelly thing back out and check if there was a bomb planted in it!!! It literally EXPLODED in every direction!!!! ANd the smell is still making me sick!!! It had to have blown straight up in the air, exploded in all directions and plopped back down on the counter. Things that were directly in front of it were fine and it was burst open on the bottom. Craziest grossest thing I have ever seen or smelt!!!!!!

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