From Good Day to Bad Day in 2.7 Seconds

Ok, so that’s a slight exaggeration.  But that sums up my day.

What could go wrong?  It’s Friday.  It’s payday.  I have plans to surprise my daughters with Taylor Swift tickets to tomorrow night’s concert.  Ok…well one daughter. Virginia guessed what we were doing a couple days ago.  Yeah, she’s good.  But she promised to keep the secret from her sister…the HUGE Taylor Swift fan, and she did.  So I was excited to tell Klara about the concert.  I have had the tickets since April and have wanted to say something since then.  Instead, I locked them away, out of sight, so I wouldn’t be tempted to ruin the surprise.  I finally made it to this week.  I’ve been anxiously waiting all week to tell her.  I thought of several ways to tell her.  I finally decided to tell her tonight.  I wanted to video tape her reaction.  I got home and went to get my video camera.  It was missing.

Now Klara has a slight obsession with watching her favorite toys (Littlest Pet Shop) being played with on YouTube.  Yes, I agree, it is strange.  I always ask her why she just doesn’t play with them herself instead of watching someone else play.  I never get a very good answer.  Then she progressed into burning through batteries on her camera (which has video capabilities) trying to create her own videos.  So I stopped buying batteries.  Then about a week ago I found out that she had taken my brand new video camera.  I had a little chat with her about that and she was told she was never allowed to use it.  That brings me to today.  I got home and went to get my video camera so that I could tape her reaction when giving her the tickets.  The moment I saw it was not where it belonged, I knew who had it.  I yelled for her to bring it to me.  She said she didn’t know where it was.  Yep, a lie.  I wanted to over look it.  I told her to bring it to me again.  She did.  I reminded her that she was not allowed to use it.  I should punish her.  But I wanted this to be a happy moment.  Again, I chose to over look it.  I presented her with her tickets and watched my little chatterbox go speechless.  A priceless moment.  Of course I used it for a little lesson on breaking rules and how she almost didn’t get the tickets since she took my camera.  But all was good.

Then we were to head off to piano lessons.  Yes, after a nice long break from children’s activities, I decided to start back into a few this school year.  We started gymnastics and piano lessons.  My friend Lori was going to join us, and I told Virginia to get the piano books.  That is when the real problem started.  She didn’t know where they were.  Klara had them last.  Klara didn’t know where they were.  Virginia had them last.  Neither wanted to look for them.  Unfortunately Virginia’s responses were very disrespectful.  My temper began to ignite.  From that moment on, the situation progressed very quickly and almost becomes a blur.  The more belligerent Virginia became, the hotter my temper got.  Klara went to find the books.  Virginia didn’t want to put her cell phone down.  Lori asked her to put it down and go help.  Virginia made a comment about needing to lock it.  I grabbed the phone out of her hands and told her to help Klara.  Klara showed up with the books.  Virginia became more disrespectful.  With every statement that came out of my mouth, I attempted to give Virginia a chance to back herself up and change the situation around.  Instead she escalated the argument.  I told her she wasn’t going to piano. She kicked my car.  I forced her into the house and I sat out in the car with Lori and Klara.  Venting.  I paid for these lessons.  I needed to make her see them through.  Yet, I also cannot reward her behavior.  What to do, what to do, what to do.  I finally had Virginia come out to the car so we can head to piano. We were already late.  The “discussion” continued in the car.  Unfortunately, everything coming out of Virginia’s mouth was about how everything was “HERS” and this whole problem was my fault.  Wrong responses from any parent’s standpoint.  We had a repeat discussion from our past about who really owns her cell phone, her iPod, her toys, etc. etc.  She wasn’t going to listen. She was right.  I was wrong.  And that’s how easy one’s temper (well my temper) can go from spark to all out flame so quickly.  Truth be told, I haven’t been this angry since I started taking prozac last December.  I hated feeling this way.

Oh the joys of parenting.  I thank God Lori was with us.  She probably helped diffuse the situation more than she will ever know.  We got to piano lessons.  Lori and I left Virginia and Klara with the teacher and left to have a little quiet time.  I was able to calm down some.  I don’t know what to do about this concert now.  It’s a reward that shouldn’t be given.  In some aspects it’s also a rare opportunity.  By the time piano was over, Virginia was a little calmer.  I went to workout with my husband and left the girls with Lori.  A great choice.  Lori had a much needed chat with them from an outside perspective.  I was able to take out my frustrations on the tread-climber.  I was quite successful.  I doubled my normal, I-can’t-go-any-longer time.  Now we are home.  Hardly anyone is talking.  Virginia keeps bringing me her possessions since she says ‘they aren’t hers’.  She’s only 11.  I have to go through this how many more years?  *Sigh*

 

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