Trapped in Fear

So my dear hubby has been out of work for one week.  It hasn’t been bad.  We promised ourselves that we would be fine and that we wouldn’t stress about it.  I caved one day.  I found out I made a stupid financial error and had scheduled to have a somewhat large bill automatically pay out of our bank account one day too early, thereby overdrawing our account.  Panic set in.  I got a text alert on my phone as I was arriving to work with the bad news.  I immediately got to my desk phone and started making phone calls.  There was nothing I could do over the phone.  It was too late to stop the payment anyway.  I couldn’t stay at work and be of any use, so I took the day off.  I ran home, gathered my resources, ran to the bank, talked to the bank manager, and managed to get past this error without assessing any stupid fees.  Thank God for small favors…sometimes they feel really big!

So I let myself get stressed just that one day so far.  I will work hard not to let the stress win again.

In the mean time, I continue going to my job day to day, while my hubby has been productive at home and on the job hunt.  Then the idea that is always lingering at the back of our minds slowly began to creep up again.  Should he/we start our own restaurant?  Maybe not a restaurant just yet, how about a catering business?  Hmmm, we may be on to something.  Yet, the logical side of me knows all the pitfalls that can bestow a person when they own their own business.  So I tossed the idea around in my head for a few days.

I am a strong believer in the metaphysical arts, and in tarot cards. I own my own oracle cards (The Psychic Tarot Oracle Deck from John Holland) and have found that the readings I have conducted on myself have been relatively accurate.  Adding those readings to psychic and numerology readings I have had, things really fit together, and NOT in a vague way either.  It’s crazy how much these readings fit into the events of our lives.

So, as I found myself due for another “year cycle” reading on the cards, I sat down and lay the cards out before me.  I liked what I saw for the coming year.  So, I continued on and I asked the universe the question:  “Should Chris start his own business?”  Then I drew the card that would provide me the insight I needed.  The card that faced me….TRAPPED IN FEAR (the 8 of Swords in the RWS tradition).  I read:

“This card reveals that it’s actually your own fear that has you immobilized and trapped – preventing you from making decisions or choices.  You are the one who’s holding yourself prisoner (or hostage); and in order to continue your journey, you must first face your fears so that new people and conditions can manifest.  Many individuals choose to staying this place because they can’t see the road ahead, they feel a misguided sense of safety there, or they’re afraid of starting something new.  But staying will only add to your levels of stress and anxiety and create adverse effects in your physical body.

Seek out wise counsel for assistance.  You don’t have to do this alone, but know that you possess all of the tools that you need to free yourself – you’re forgetting how strong you really are!  This period will end when you use your mind to cut through the limitations caused by your emotions.”

Wow, that couldn’t be more fitting. I know with certainty that I am afraid to jump into owning a business or relying on our own ventures to provide our family’s financial security.  But today I am attempting to let go of my fear…the best I can anyway. Chris has already opened up some connections he has that may be beneficial in this endeavor.  We even went as far as ordering him some business cards.  Only time will tell how this will really go for us.  But for now, I will not let fear win.  I Believe.


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