I am not really a very adventurous person – at least not enough to jump out of a plane, or go scuba diving, but I guess I am adventurous in another way. I was adventurous enough to try new ideas such as spray tanning or laser lipo (see my blog Let’s Try Something New). So like the laser lipo, when I saw a coupon come across the internet for laser hair removal, I decided to give it a shot. Where else would I want to do this, but the bikini area.
Now I suspect somebody reading this, like my mom, would say why in the world would you want to do something that crazy? Even more so, the question may arise as to why would I tell everyone I am doing this. Let’s start with why I’m telling you. I have an inquisitive mind. When I sign up to do stuff like this, I want to know what I am going to really experience. Will it hurt? How bad will it hurt? Am I stupid for doing this? So I search the internet for my answers, and boy do they vary! Since I have decided to follow through and get it done, I feel it’s my duty to assist those who are looking for answers by providing my experience so you get a better picture on what to expect.
Now to the why do I want to do it. Well, I am an aspiring porn star. Ok you have to admit that was funny, but seriously, I have this thing about hair…I don’t like it except on my head and my eyebrows. So after several attempts at home waxing which failed, (see Wax on, Wax Off, Scream), and some awkward shaving moments, I decided why not give it a try (besides it was such a great deal ).
Today was my first appointment. The only preparation I had was to shave the area as close as possible beforehand. I arrived at my appointment feeling awkward, as I pictured I’d be spread open like in a gynecological exam. How weird was this going to be? How painful was it really going to be? That’s a very sensitive area!!! I walked into the office and went up to the guy at the front desk and simply announced, “Your next victim is here”. He replied that was awesome and then took me to the room. Yep, he was the doctor performing the procedure *face palm*. Anyway, the procedure was briefly explained to me. Why briefly? Well because as it turns out, the procedure was brief! He instructed me to get undressed from the waist down and lay down on the bed with a sheet covering my lower half. I suggested to him that I thought I should “clean up” first. He looked around for some wipes, but then just casually shrugged the thought off and said, “Don’t worry about it, it’ll be fine, you’ll see.” So I got undressed and draped the sheet over me. The doctor came back in and asked me why I thought it was going to be painful. As I started explaining why (having felt the pain of tattoos and laser surgery on my foot), he turned on the laser machine, came to my right side, folded over the sheet like a masseuse would for a massage, had my right leg bend at the knee to “open” me up and started working away. As I talked, I felt what seemed like a blow dryer, except will VERY cold air, blowing against me and the slight little prick of hairs being tugged on. He quickly went over the right side of the bikini area. The only time it felt truly awkward was when I felt him open the folds…yes those folds. I quickly let that thought pass as my thoughts focused on how amazed I was that the ultra sensitive area there didn’t feel any different from the rest of the procedure and still wasn’t bad. As I finished my statement about why I thought it would hurt, he was done with my right side and moved to the left to do the other side. He then said that he offered a deal to also do under arms along with this procedure and asked me if I wanted to do that as well. I thought, “what the hell?” My top came off, the laser went over my arm pits, and then he was done. I didn’t feel anything at all in this area! Then I had to ask one last off the wall question (only off the wall for me I’m sure)…that was how much would he charge for a very small area. He asked me what area. Now this may seem like an EWWW statement to the young crowd, but as older women know, as you age, hair will start to grow places. I had three obscure hairs on my right nipple…yes my breast. He said he would just go ahead and do them for free. Well, if I didn’t feel awkward by this point, I have to admit I did when I took off my bra with him standing right there. But, three little zaps and he was done and telling me to get dressed.
The entire procedure – all three areas – took less than 10 minutes. The pain pretty much nonexistent. With my modesty pretty much out the window, I had to ask one last question….how far “back” does he go (you know hair does grow there too!). He said all the way, but I needed to be sure to shave pretty close there as well next time in order for it to work. AHAHAHA! I laugh because that is a contortionist’s trick. I mentioned that, and then I got a good laugh as he told me I had to just get creative in the shower and he tried to demonstrate to me how by trying to hike his leg up to mimic how to get a razor “back there”. Ok so that was my laugh for the day!
Over all, it was all a pretty good experience! Funny, a little awkward, but good nonetheless! Now what comes next (for those of you who don’t want to look it up yourself)…over the next couple weeks, the hair follicles will fall out, but not all of them, that is why there are six treatments to complete the job. Each visit is six weeks apart. There are some other things you should look up from the experts too. I will briefly point out what they are here…the procedure doesn’t work as well if you are dark-skinned or light-haired. It is best for light skin with darker hair, because the laser “seeks” out the dark hair follicle. But don’t take my word for it…do your research before going! And you are welcome for the laugh at my expense. 😉