In case you haven’t figured it out from reading my blog all these years or from some of my posts or re-posts on Facebook or Pinterest, I suffer from depression, anxiety and panic attacks. I don’t hide it, but I don’t talk bluntly about it either. Sure I casually discuss it in blogs about other subjects, but I’ve never stood up and said, “Hi, my name is Kris and I’m depressed,” as I just did like I’m in some form of group therapy. But then things like the death of the comedian and actor Robin Williams takes place and it gets people talking. On top of that, I chatted with a wonderful new friend today who is going through her own battles, and I got to thinking. Depression is way more common than people will ever admit. But why are we afraid to talk about it?
I was on Prozac for a few years, and I have to say it was wonderful! It probably saved my life or kept me out of prison – I say that jokingly of course. But I do highly recommend medication if you need it. My best friend helped me get off Prozac last year. I have to admit there are many days I sink back to that low point and I stare at the remaining pills in my cabinet and want to take them again. Some days I will be fine, then out of the blue I feel like crying or just giving up on everything. When I get to that point, he talks me out of it (if I mention it that is). Still I refuse to throw the bottle away, just in case. I also have an inhaler for panic attacks. I recently got the courage to quit carrying the inhaler around with me after I managed to get through my last few attacks without using it. Again, I still have my moments where I feel an attack coming on and I want to reach for a quick fix. But honestly, there is no quick fix. The only fix I can truly think of is support. Sadly the support isn’t always there. Not just for me, but for other people suffering the same thing. The lucky few who don’t experience this darkness do not always understand and are quick to either criticize or react defensively over the issue, when it really is not about them. I’m not saying they may not be a trigger, because often our loved ones are, but they need to try to understand not everything a person experiences in their mind is in their control. Sometimes all it takes is an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on or someone to say “I understand”. I know from my own stand point I don’t need someone to give me a solution. I just need someone to give me love and accept me for the imperfect person that I am. Doesn’t everyone?
Well…thank you for listening. And thank you for listening to anyone else that is suffering. My name is Kris….and I suffer from depression.