I was watching a show this weekend called “Your Bleeped Up Brain“. The show talked about how the brain really does trick people’s perception of things more often than you realize. When they indicated that most people will only remember .5 millionths of what they experience, I didn’t feel so bad about my poor memory. But when they talked about people with photographic memories, I started joking about how I have trouble remembering what I ate for breakfast or even famous movie quotes. I know many people who remember quotes almost as if they are reading them. They can tell me something I said verbatim and assume they know the intent behind what I said. Sometimes I feel like a loser because I don’t remember things like that. But I do remember things that I feel in my heart. For example something said to me out of love or even something said in a hateful manner. Yes I can quote you then. Why is this? I think it may be because I don’t live out of my head so to speak. I don’t always say the best thing to portray what I am feeling, because I also don’t expect it to be thrown back at me, and when it is, ironically it is out of context, because that person did not realize what I meant behind what I said. It’s sort of like talking in parables, something which is done quite often in the bible. Parables are meant to convey meaning and understanding, but they are not to be taken literally. Oh the dilemma of the human language. No wonder so many misunderstandings occur between people.
So what is my point? Ironically as of right now I forgot. But I do know I was trying to convey that I don’t live out of my head. I live out of my heart. I guess if you had to compare this to something, I would be the scarecrow in the wizard of oz, and not the tin man. I am all heart, and yes (laughing that I am admitting this here) no brain. I may write pretty well, but I don’t convey myself very well when speaking, which can make things come out wrong. And when I find I’m misunderstood, it hurts me as much as it hurts the person who misunderstood me. It’s a blessing and a curse to live out of my heart. I may not think before I speak (another curse I am trying to change), but I most certainly feel, and I feel very deeply. So please forgive me if I don’t always think before I speak or can’t quite back up what I say with specific statements that were made somewhere along the line. Chances are my emotions fumbled up what I was trying to convey anyway. One day I may get it right. If I only had a brain. 😉