There is a saying that I have heard many times in the past few years from a few people, some consistently, that really has always bothered me. The saying: “That’s your choice.” It could mean that was your choice or that is your choice – either way you want to say it is fine. Why does this bother me? Well, besides sounding judgmental, I could never quite put into words how much this statement isn’t necessarily all that it seems. Then today I found this:
When I read this, I thought, how poetic. This is exactly why I hate the statement, “That’s your choice.” Yes, we all make choices in life, but note: JUST BECAUSE WE CHOSE WHAT WE DID DOES NOT MEAN WE CHOSE THE OUTCOME OR HOW IT WOULD AFFECT OUR LIFE. Unless you are psychic, there is no possible way we can always know exactly what our choices will lead to, no matter how small or trivial they may seem. Just a small example – A choice to take a different road home could end up in a life-threatening situation. Did you choose to be in that predicament? No, you probably just chose to see some new scenery.
I am sure everyone makes the best choices they can with what they know, and hope that their choice will lead to the best possible outcome. Does it work out that way? (Insert laugh here.) Not always!! When I look at my friends and family, we are all doing pretty well for the most part, but are we 100% thrilled with where our choices in life have taken us? Well, I am certain we all wanted a better outcome from some of our choices. That’s not to say things are all that bad, but I am pretty certain that most of us had hoped for better in some form or another.
Now having said that, yes of course there are still a few choices that we watch others makes that are, well….bad. Of course it is always easy for the person on the outside looking in to make that call for us. At least they think so. But regardless, I just ask you, the next time you are inclined to use the phrase, “That’s your choice,” please think about the way you say it and how judgmental it just may come across. Then ask yourself, do you really think this person wanted the outcome they received? Are you completely happy with all of your choices? Then maybe just lend an ear or some support. Don’t you wish to be a good friend or would you rather be known as a judgmental person? Now that’s your’ choice.